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  You have three seconds!!!

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  MY SISTER’S WEDDING PLANNER CALLED:

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  You’re Under Arrest For Impersonating A Federal Officer,”

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  My Husband’s Mistress Announced Their Wedding At Our Anniversary Dinner

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  Dad Reserved The Head Table For My Sister

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  She Called Her Daughter “dead Weight”

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  My Sister Asked Me To Watch Her Little Girl So She Could “run Errands.”

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  The Waiter Pulled Me Aside At My Own Celebration Dinner

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  I Was On A Classified Mission When My Wife Called Screaming.

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  They Cried When I Evicted Them

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  My Sister Dumped Her Kids On Me For The 10th Weekend In A Row

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  My Granddaughter Called Me At 2 A.m. From An Intake Office